Why I do what I do
As kids are going back to school and the weather is getting cooler as well as days getting shorter, it is important that you take time to treasure your body.
I didn't always appreciate my body. In fact, I had an eating disorder with binging and purging (that looked like intense working out). I would eat a whole box of cookies and then make sure to work out for at least 2 hours intensely in a hot room to sweat it all out. I always had a perception that I was "fat" and didn't look good.
It wasn't until after I had my first child that I was able to change my relationship with my own body.
I gave birth to my son on February 20, 2018. Just 24 hours after a long labor that ended in 3 hours of pushing and then an emergency cesarean section, I got out of the shower (with help) and saw my reflection in the mirror. I made a comment about how I looked like a 90 year old woman (side note: 90 year old women are beautiful. Their bodies are full of stories, wisdom, and experiences. I just wasn't there yet). I thought I looked like a 90 year old woman without the adventures that came with it. I had a rash from being allergic to being pregnant (yup, this is a real thing) all over my body that made my skin red and blotchy. I had lost 25lbs within 24 hours. My butt sagged, my breasts were lower than I had ever seen them, I couldn't stand up straight, I had a belly with an extra shelf from the large incision that spanned my lower abdomen.
My husband immediately said with tears streaming down his face, "Don't you ever say anything like that again. Your beautiful body just gave birth to our son. You body has never looked so amazing to me."
His words and tears stopped me in my tracks.
What was I thinking?
How could I shame this vesicle that just gave life to my first born child?
That was the moment I stopped hating my body. That was the moment I started loving it, appreciating it, and being kind to it.
As a pelvic floor physical therapist, I get to treat people in the most intimate space. I get to experience people's vulnerabilities. I get to help people get in touch with a part of their body they left behind years ago.
People cry on my table as they say the words, "I don't know why I am crying."
I do. I know why their tears fall.
Our society tells women to buck up and grow some balls. It tells women to close their legs, to cover up their skin. It tells women and men alike to put their feelings away and get the job done.
Why do people cry on my table? Because every pelvis has a story and it wants to be heard. It longs to have a voice.
We, as people, need to stop being silent. Say how you are feeling. Dance when you want to dance. Yell when you want to yell. Love when you want to love. And be proud of you. Be proud of your body that works day in and day out to get you from place to place, to digest food that gives you energy, to process the liquid you put inside it to sustain your cells, your being. You only get one body. Love it. Cherish it. Appreciate it. And most importantly, respect it.
Not everyone is lucky enough to have someone genuinely tell them how beautiful their body is. Not everyone is lucky enough to be able to hear when someone tells them how beautiful and amazing their body is. My hope, is that with the work that I do, I can help guide people to appreciate and respect their bodies, so that one day, they can look in the mirror and see their true beauty.
YOUR BODY IS BEAUTIFUL. YOUR BODY IS AMAZING.
