SEX!!! What does it mean when it is painful?
Did you know that 75% of people with vaginas experience pain during sex at some point in their life? It is true and that is A LOT! Why do we put up with it? Pain during sex is NOT normal. It is common, but not normal. People can experience pain during or after intercourse in their vagina or deeper in their pelvis.
Sex has many health benefits
Having sex has so many health benefits. It helps lower blood pressure, improves immunity, decreases risk for heart disease, improves self-esteem, decreases depression and anxiety, increases libido, decreases pain, improves sleep, increases intimacy and closeness to your sexual partner, decreases both physical and emotional stress. That is a LONG list. In order to get all those benefits, it is important that you do not have pain during sex.
Why do people have pain during sex?
People with vaginas can experience pain during or after sex for a few reasons. Vaginal dryness, genital irritation, tight muscles (also called vaginismus), and infection can all be causes.
Vaginal dryness
Vaginal dryness can cause pain during sex due to increased friction during penetration. It can be from a hormone imbalance during menopause or breastfeeding. This imbalance can also lead to a lack of sexual arousal which can also cause dryness and pain. Acupuncture and functional medicine can help decrease vaginal dryness.
Using a good lubricant is important. Make sure you use one that is free of any harmful additives such as glycerin, petrochemicals like propylene glycol, polyethylene glycol, and petroleum, preservatives like parabens, benzyl alcohol, citric acid, and benzocaine. Water based lubricants (Good Clean Love is one I recommend to clients) are the best. Plain oil such as coconut, olive, and vitamin E oil can also be used.
I recommend my clients who experience dryness to use a syringe to help insert the lubricant up into your vagina rather than having it sit just at the opening. This can help ensure your whole vagina is well lubricated rather than just the opening.
Genital Irritation
Genital irritation can cause increased pain during intercourse due to the skin being hypersensitive and irritated. It can be caused by the lubricant or the condom you are using.
Soap can also cause genital irritation. It is best to not use any soap to wash yourself. Yes, I know that might be a hard one to wrap your head around. But it is true. Using soap on your vulvar skin is like putting soap in your eye. It is best just to use water to wash. Our bodies are amazing and they are capable of cleaning themselves with a little bit of water. When you use soap, it dries out your skin and causes more irritation and even more smell.
Tight Muscles
The muscles of the pelvic floor are just like any other muscle on your body; they can get tight. If they are tight, they need a little extra TLC to help them relax so you can enjoy pain-free intercourse. When the muscles around the vaginal opening are tight it is called vaginismus. There are many different causes for this such as stress, sitting a lot, crossing your legs when you sit, gastrointestinal issues, a fall on your tailbone, even the way you were potty trained can cause pelvic floor muscle tightness. There are tools you can use to help decrease the tightness. Seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist is a great way to help get those muscles to relax.
Infection
If you are experiencing pain during sex, it is important to rule out an infection. It could be from an STI or from a common bacteria called Thrush. If you have an infection, it is important that you get the right medications and herbs to treat it. If you have vaginal pain with intercourse that is not going away with conservative treatment, please contact your physician.
Conclusion
If you have pain with sex, please speak to a healthcare provider to help figure out the underlying issue. Sex is an activity of daily living and is important to your health. You deserve to be able to enjoy sex.
