The reality after having a baby
The movies show that having a baby is easy. You birth your baby, and just like that you have your body back and you have this adorable, perfect baby, whom you can easily breastfeed and bring with you on all your adventures.
The part about having an adorable, perfect baby is about the only part of that statement that is relatively true, and even that part, is not always true. Your baby might not be a good sleeper, might fuss if you are not holding them, might have colic, the list can go on and on, but this is for another bog post.
There are so many books about what to do with a newborn; how to help her sleep, how to feed him, what to expect for weekly development during the first year.
There are very few, if any, books about what to do with your body, how it will be different, what it will need, what you can expect.
There are no readily available resources about what you will go through during the postpartum period. Even if there were, people do not stress the importance of taking care of your body those first 9 months after you have a baby.
Luckily, more and more people are talking about postpartum depression. It is great that it is becoming more mainstream. People are becoming more aware of it and are talking more about it.
What people don’t talk about, is how long it takes your body to feel like your body again, how your stomach does not immediately just shrink back to the size it was pre-baby, that you can’t just start running again the day after you have your baby, or even after your 6 week check up, that breastfeeding is hard and takes a lot of time, that your body is in constant need and in use for the next 9 months or really 5+ years, that when you go to have sex for the first time after having a baby it will not feel the same, that peeing and pooping can turn into the worst part of your day.
If you recently were pregnant or you are pregnant, CONGRATULATIONS!
Know that it is okay that your body does not feel like your body right after you have your baby. Know that it is okay to grieve your pre-pregnancy body and even lifestyle. Know that you still are an AMAZING parent and you can still love your baby unconditionally.
Just like your baby, it will take time to get to know your new body; what excites it, what makes it feel good, what it needs. It took 9 months of your body changing to grow another human; it will take 9 months (or longer) to get it back to how you want it to be. But know that during that 9 months of postpartum time, your body is making food (or spending a lot of time giving food via a bottle) to grow your little person. It is not getting the sleep it desires or even needs to fully heal and/or function. It might not get to eat, drink, or exercise as much as it did before because now it is helping take care of another being.
Your body has more demands than it ever has had. Be patient with it. Be understanding of it.
Allow time for you body to heal. Allow space for you body to heal. Know that it might not be exactly how it was before you had a baby. That is good. It shouldn’t be. It just created a miracle!
One thing that can help if you are not feeling excited about your body, is pelvic floor physical therapy. A physical therapist can educate you on what your body is capable of, what is considered normal, what exercises you can do to ease back into the activities you once loved, and help you figure out what is best for your body. A pelvic floor physical therapist can also help drain excess lymph fluid that your body might be holding onto after being pregnant. She can also help your pelvis return to its pre-pregnancy shape by either doing manual work on you or teaching you how to do it on yourself.
The postpartum period should be a time of joy, excitement, learning, curiosity. If more people talked about the ups and downs of their postpartum healing, I think it would allow more people to know that what you are experiencing is normal. It will get better and there are ways to help heal your body after creating and caring for your miracle.
If you are experiencing anything about your body that you were not expecting or that you do not desire, contact a pelvic floor physical therapist. We can help your body heal. We can help you fit into your pre-pregnancy jeans. We can help you feel strong doing the activities you love. We can help with the leaking you experience when you laugh, cough, sneeze, jump, or run after your kids. We can help with the hemorrhoids that don’t seem to go away. We can help with discomfort you are having during intercourse. We can help you be able to use a tampon or menstrual cup again. We can help you feel your strongest and best after having a baby!
