Libido after having a baby
You just spent 9 months growing another human then delivered that human from you body and now you are expected to return to sexual activity like it was before? Good luck!
Because of hormones, some people have an increased sex drive after having a baby; most people have the opposite, decreased libido.
Not only do hormones play a role, but caring for another human who is fully dependent on you, sleep deprivation, and your relationship with your body, all play into if you are in the mood to getting frisky. As long as you are breastfeeding, your hormones will be different. Your baby depends on you to feed them, help them sleep, clean them up, and entertain them. Unless you hire a postpartum doula or you are able to have your partner help the baby in the middle of the night, sleep deprivation is not something you can fully control. However, you can change your relationship with your body.
You just birthed your baby, now it is time to rebirth your body. Your body spent 9 months growing another human. 9 months! It changed just so it could make that miracle happen. I know it looks different than before you had a baby, but what if you embraced it? What if you loved every stretch mark because every mark meant that your baby grew to the size it needed to? What if you loved your new mommy proof belly because it grew new tissue to keep your baby safe and warm? What if you loved your new breast shape because their shape is what got ready to nourish and bond with your baby? What if you embraced that you are not as fit as you were prior to pregnancy because it meant that you now spend time playing, holding, and loving on a tiny person?
Okay, this is all much easier to write down than it is to actually believe, but it is a start. I challenge you to write something positive about your body every day for 3 weeks and see how it changes your relationship with your body. If you don’t notice a change in the way you relate to your body by the end of the 3 weeks please write to me to let me know this did not work for you. It is good feedback for me.
Back to libido……
If you want your libido to increase, the first and most important step is having a positive relationship with your body.
The next step is to connect with your body. You were just pregnant for 9 months, the majority of those 9 months were spent with you not being able to see your vagina. Aka, your brain did not connect with that part of your body. Then you ended the nine months by birthing your baby. Whether you had a vaginal birth or a c-section, whether is was traumatic or perfect, there was an event that happened to your pelvic/lower abdominal area. One protective mechanism that our bodies and minds have is to block a part of out body out when something happens to it.
It is important that you get your mind/body connection back to your pelvic floor so that you can have increased libido.
How do you rebuild that connection?
Close your eyes (after you are finished reading this) and take a deep inhale into your lower abdomen. Try to feel all the way down to your pubic bone. Take a nice slow breath in so you can really feel it. Then as you slowly breathe out think of having your clitoris lift up or nod. Continue to breathe this way for 5 minutes. Do this 5 minutes every day for 3 weeks. Again, if you do not notice a change in the way you connect with your body by the end of the 3 weeks please write to me to let me know this did not work for you. It is good feedback for me.
Watch the video below to be guided through connecting with your body.
This breathing is one way to help increase your libido. There could be a lot of other things going on. If there are other things at play, please reach out to me so I can guide you in ways to help you desire sex again!
